


Zombie Lovin'

by mandybling



Category: IT Crowd, Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M, Smut, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-12
Updated: 2012-09-12
Packaged: 2017-11-14 02:28:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/510342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandybling/pseuds/mandybling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little Halloween weirdness originally posted for thezooniverse on LJ.</p>
<p>WARNING: Yes this is zombie porn. If you find that disgusting please, please, PLEASE don't read it. It was written on a whim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombie Lovin'

The wind is howling in the trees as Richmond makes his way down the dark yet familiar crooked pebble path. In his grasp he carries a rather large bouquet of calla lilies wrapped in shiny black paper. In no time at all he comes to the grave he’s been seeking out and drops to his knees in front of it.

“It’s Halloween, Denholm.” He says quietly as he sets the flowers to the front of the tombstone. Making himself more comfortable, Richmond sits properly on the soft mossy ground, picking at the grass. “I’m enjoying being back in London. I don’t know why I thought I could live elsewhere.”

Sighing, Richmond lays down and rolls onto his back to look up at the night sky. He props his hands behind his head as his eyes begin to droop and his mind wonders. He can smell the earth around him and hear the rustling of the leaves as his body relaxes.

All of a sudden Richmond jumps as he feels something grasping tightly to his ankle. He lets out a yelp as he tries to crab crawl backward and away from what ever thing has hold of him. What ever it is, tightens it’s grip and Richmond can feel the ground beneath him move.

Richmond freezes in fear as he hears a gravely sounding moan and then hears his own name called out in the gloom. “Riiiiiiichmoooooond...” His mouth drops open as he sees exactly what, or rather whom is crawling from beneath the ground.

“Riiiiiiichmond...” Denholm moans again as he pulls himself free from the dank hole and crawls towards the stunned goth.

“D--Denholm?” Richmond half squeaks as he watches the grey, tattered and decaying form of what looks to be his departed lover crawl atop him.

“Riiiiichmond. So hungry. I’ve missed you. You smell... delicious.” Denholm says as his jaws snap shut, teeth mere inches from Richmond’s nose.

“I’ve missed you as well. But...” Scrambling to get out from under the zombie, Richmond is once again stopped by Denholm’s vice grip.

“Give us a kisssss...” Denholm answers back, licking his dry half gone lips.

“You are unwell. I should get you to hospital. Something isn’t right.”

“Turn oveeeeeer! The headstone, grasp iiiiiit!” Denholm shouts as the wind picks up around them.

Nodding mutely, Richmond shakily turns over and grasps the headstone as instructed. Finally finding his voice, he whimpers, “I--I don’t think now is the right time for this, Denholm. I should get you to hosp...” but he’s cut short as his trousers are forcefully pulled down to his thighs by sharp, spindly fingers.

“Husssssshhhhh, Riiichmond. Don’t you want thiiiiis?”

“Yes, but...”

A hand is suddenly thrust in front of Richmond’s face. “Then spiiit.”

Gathering up as much saliva in his mouth as he can, Richmond spits into the bony palm and watches as it disappears behind him. He gasps as he feels two fingers slip between the crease of his arse and to the puckered entrance, prodding insistently for entry. With a rough push, Denholm’s fingers find their way inside and Richmond can’t help but moan.

“Yessss. Knew you’d like it, my boy.” Denholm growls as he begins to prepare Richmond, quickly spreading his fingers to open him up.

“Denholm.” Is all Richmond can manage to say as the zombie’s fingers are removed. The hand is once again thrust in front of his face, gesturing for more lubrication. Richmond complies, spitting onto the palm.

Richmond hears Demholm groan and the sound of wetness. He doesn’t have to guess as to what the zombie is doing. He grasps the headstone tight and clenches his teeth, in wait for Denholm to make his move.

Richmond Feels a hand on his hip, the fingers digging into his flesh as Denholm lines up his cock to the tight ring of muscle. With one solid thrust, the zombie sheathes himself inside, howling into the night air as he goes.

“Denholm...” Richmond moans in response as he backs his body up to meet the deteriorating hips of his lover.

They both groan as their bodies break into a steady and familiar rhythm. Denholm lowers his head to Richmond’s back and begins to sniff at the goths skin through his shirt. “Sssssmell so delectable...” He hisses as he continues to pound into the man below him.

Oblivious to anything but the pleasure he’s feeling, Richmond reaches down and begins to stroke his own cock with a firm grip. “Yes, Denholm.”

Denholm’s rocking become more and more erratic as they move, teeth gnashing very close to Richmond’s neck at each thrust. “Braaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnsssss...” He suddenly cries out.

Richmond is too far gone to notice this exclamation as his own hips jerk forward into his hand and he comes with a soft cry. He stills long enough to hear the sudden snap of teeth right next to his ear and hears exactly what Denholm had said clearly as he repeats it again.

“Braaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnsssss!”

Screaming, Richmond pushes Denholm out of him and rolls onto his back, using his arms as a block against the zombies gnashing jaws. “No, Denholm! I thought you...”

“Sexxxxx and dinner...” Denholm moans as he lunges with surprising quickness at Richmond.

Richmond kicks out with his legs, shielding his face with his forearms. “NO DENHOLM!” He Screams as he thrashes around to free himself of the situation.

The sound of a car backfiring breaks through the night air and Richmond suddenly stills and sits up. He looks around, bewildered as he searches for the attacking creature. All he sees are tombstones and dry leaves caught by the wind. The flowers are where he left them, the earth undisturbed, his trousers still on but slightly damp.

On wobbly legs, Richmond stands and dusts himself off. “Must have been a dream.” He mumbles to himself. “I think that Monster Munch I ate earlier must have gone wrong.”

With a soft and slightly nervous chuckle, Richmond wraps his coat around his frame tightly and heads back in the direction of his flat.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
I'm sick in the head.


End file.
